#42 - Self Inflicted
Over promised, empowered, and the blame game
Everything that has gone wrong with Unplugged has been my fault. Everything.
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Over Promised
Perhaps that sounds arrogant. Perhaps you think I’m saying I’m all powerful in the small world of Unplugged. Far from it. I’m one of the many cogs in the machine. But that doesn’t stop everything being my fault.
I’ve spent this week scrambling to get a couple of asset financing deals closed. Quite the palaver. Deals pulled last minute. Deals hijacked. An abort dash to Northampton to get some docs signed. High octane stuff. I’m exhausted.
At many moments I felt indignation rising up inside me. They’ve really f**ked us over here. The endless stream of extra signatures and last minute alterations defied belief.
But it was self inflicted. It only felt pressured because I’d promised our supplier the money this week and they’d planned accordingly. As the week went by I realised, in dismay, quite how much I’d underestimated the process involved. It was all due to my ignorance.
That was the root of my indignation. I overpromised and I underestimated. I f**ked up. I was not prepared. Anytime anything goes wrong at Unplugged it’s the same. There’s always something I personally could have done better to prevent it. It all comes down to communication. When something goes wrong, it’s a communication issue. I could always have gained more information or communicated clearer.
Empowered
You might be wincing. Why so harsh on yourself? I don’t see it like that. Taking full responsibility is extremely empowering. Stress and frustration come when we feel like things are out of our control. Towards the end of my time at my previous startup I was constantly frustrated- constantly feeling the management were getting it wrong. In reality, I was out of my depth and projecting those anxieties onto everything and everyone.
These days I’m better at taking responsibility. That’s not to say I’m any better at my job; but certainly happier in it and in myself. When frustration does come it’s easier to let it slide away because the ball is in my court. By assuming responsibility my focus moves from whose fault is it to what can I do better next time. A far more pleasant place to be.
The Blame Game
This goes well beyond work. It touches everything. Nothing more so than relationships.
All our people problems come from a place of blame. They come from being unhappy at how someone else has acted. Now, in many instances it really may not be our fault- they may well have acted outrageously- but the choice is ours on how we respond.
The details of the situation aside, what’s the best way forward? We can blame the other side- in which we might be completely justified- but this will just bring us anger and frustration.
Taking responsibility removes the blame. By recognising what we could have done something differently, the other person once again becomes a collaborator, not a competitor. Everyone can be on our team if we let them.
My Week in Books📚
Good to Great by Jim Collins
A classic. First time I’ve read it. TLDR- be humble and ferocious at the same time. He makes a compelling case. Hubris really is a company killer.
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
A wonderful book. Two film producers approach Miller about turning his memoir into a film. He realises how boring his life is, and sets out to live a better story. “A story is just a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.” A great insight into storytelling.
I’ll be updating the books I’ve read this year here. Any recommendations? Let me know!
A Final Thought 💡
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realise that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.”
– Dalai Lama
Gosh. He puts it much better than me.