#21 - I'm an Ass
DJ Music, channeling my inner monk, and being an ass
I’ll write an article, once we’re finished raising, entitled: “1000 ways I f**ked up fundraising”. I won’t be short of content.
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DJ Music
You name it, I’ve got it wrong in the last couple of months.
I spent a whole month “raising” without speaking to any investors. Just soul searching and waiting for money to drop out of the sky.
When I did finally get started I gambled that we’d qualify for HMRC’s Seed Enterprise Investment Scheme and approached investors on those terms. I lost. HMRC promptly turned us down.
Worst of all I sent round a financial model that I’d barely looked at. It emerged that I had the marketing labelled “Marketing, Promoter, and DJ Music”. A clue to the template used. Whoops.
But all is not lost. Remarkably, people are still interested and I’ve recognised my errors. Some of them anyway. Writing this post I can take full responsibility for them, and that’s extremely liberating.
I found myself rueing fundraising this week, wondering who was conspiring against me. It was demoralising. But by taking responsibility I again feel free and energised for the next stage.
I f**ked up. My bad. I’ll do better next week.
Channeling my Inner Monk
Taking responsibility is a superpower. Nowhere is this more true than in our relationships.
Take anger. What’s actually happening when we’re angry with someone? We’re taking issue with how they’ve behaved. Perhaps we’re angry because they let us down or insulted us. Is that their fault? I’m not so sure. They’re just being a human. Humans get stuff wrong all the time. The anger is a reflection on us. It’s our lack of preparation for that moment. We’re reflecting our own fears and insecurities. What if we could take responsibility? Actually it’s my fault. They’re just being a human. I should have prepared for that. It’s fine.
I can vouch for this working. I haven’t been angry or frustrated for a couple of years. Ever since my stint with the monks. They’re doing something right over there- don’t rule out me going full monk at some stage.
That’s not to say I don’t have bad days. I’ll still get stressed and overwhelmed; although much less since I stopped the drugs and alcohol. But angry? It’s been years.
I appreciate it’s not straightforward. The last thing you need is me preaching to you on a Sunday morning. However, it is possible. If I feel the heat rising in my cheeks now-a-days, my mind clicks to take responsibility for the situation. A useful habit.
I’m an Ass
Never do I feel as enlightened as when reading Awareness by Anthony De Mello. It’s one of the very few books I regularly reread and it never disappoints.
My favourite passage in the book:
I’m going to write a book one day and the title will be I’m an Ass, You’re an Ass. That’s the most liberating, wonderful thing in the world, when you openly admit you’re an ass. It’s wonderful. When people tell me “You’re wrong".” I say, “What can you expect of an ass?”
Wonderful indeed. On the surface this might appear to be ducking responsibility by dodging the “You’re wrong.” On the contrary it’s taking full responsibility for being an ass, and it’s incredibly liberating. Once you’ve taken complete responsibility, nothing can faze you.
It brings up another excellent point: not to take life too seriously. Much of our struggles, such as the above relationship issues, come from taking our life too seriously. What is anger but our own ego? This person didn’t behave how I expected them to and therefore I’m angry with them. Again, they’re just being a human! These things happen. Do you fume or laugh? That’s up to you. I know which one I’d choose.
My Week in Books📚
Who Owns England? By Guy Shrubsole
…. And do they want some cabins? I thought I’d get the lay of the land so to speak. Interesting but not a must read.
Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke
Life is poker not chess. Indeed, Annie. Good decisions can lead to bad outcomes, and bad decisions can lead to good outcomes. Learn to spot the difference. A great lens through which to view the world.
I’ll be updating the books I’ve read this year here. Any recommendations? Let me know!
A Final Thought 💡
“It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it.”
― Sophocles
Sophocles killing it with the wisdom. ✨