#36 - Memento Mori
A summer's evening, the bridge, and triumph and disaster
This is one of those posts that felt risky to write.
It’s a heavy subject. I hope I’ve done it justice. Feel free to give this a miss if you want to keep your Sunday morning light.
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A Summer’s Evening
Let me take you back to a summer’s evening in June of last year. The weather was beautiful. Summer had well and truly begun and there was optimism in the air.
I was happy. We were approaching the launch of cabin #1 for Unplugged, and a lockdown of reading and meditating had left me in a good headspace. I took a stroll from my flat in Angel down to Millennium Bridge, and crossed the Thames.
The area was buzzing with happy revellers enjoying the easing of restrictions. As I stepped off the bridge I walked past a dishevelled old man. He looked down on his luck, like he’d been sleeping rough. I noticed an utterly hopeless look in his eye. After a moments pause I continued my stroll, settling at a spot by the river. I whittled away the next half an hour reading and enjoying the atmosphere.
I remember now, as I got up to leave, thinking how content I was with life. All was well. Just a minute later this was shattered.
The Bridge
As I stepped onto the ramp up to the bridge I heard screams from above. I spun round to see the man I’d walked past earlier swinging from the bridge by a rope around his neck. For a moment everything froze. Then a burst of activity. People began running towards him. Before I knew I had joined them. We tried to grab him from the sidewalk. No luck. I turned and sprinted up the ramp to a group gathered around where his rope was tied.
We tried to pull him up. Too heavy. Someone suggested cutting him loose. Before I knew it a bottle was smashed and a piece of glass was thrust into my hand. I frantically started cutting the rope.
Half way through and I froze. Doubt flickered across my mind. Am I doing the right thing? Does he even want saving? I paused for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly I was jolted back to reality, the person next to me grabbed the glass and finished the job. Cut loose, the man fell the four metres to the beach where he lay in a crumpled heap.
I don’t know what happened next. My involvement was over. As the crowd swarmed down to the beach I walked off, in shock.
As I walked home I couldn’t help but be struck by the contrast. How could I be on such a high whilst just metres away someone was so low. I thought how much this same dynamic must be playing out in the city I now walked through. Tens of thousands of people flying at the highest heights, and the same again at the lowest lows.
This isn’t a story about my heroics; there were none. It’s not a story about one life better than another. It’s a story about the fleetingness of life.
Triumph and Disaster
I dredged this up as I’m finding life incredibly exciting right now. Each week more so than the last. But life is like that. Peaks and troughs spatter our years and it’s never clear what’s around the corner. The ancient stoics had a concept called Memento Mori- a reminder that we all must die. We’re each here for just a moment and then we’re gone. Death is the great equaliser.
To me, it’s an important reminder to approach life with an equanimity. Trying to keep humble in the highs and calm in the lows. Life is a game of chance and what can we do but take each moment in our stride. Rudyard Kipling said it best:
“If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;”
Treat those two imposters just the same.
We’re all humans, at the end of the day, striving to do something with our life. But however those lives progress one is not better than another. We’re all just playing the hands we’ve been dealt and it’s never clear what the dice will show next.
My Week in Books📚
From What Is to What If by Rob Hopkins
How imagination can solve the world’s problem. A lovely book. I agree with much of what Hopkins says. Imagination is stifled today. Between chronic stress, phone addiction, and a rigid education system, there’s little room for magic. I’ll certainly be pondering how to leave room for imagination in my own day to day.
Thank you Ben Keene for the recommendation!
Rewriting the Rules by Meg John Barker
I wasn’t going to put this in but in the spirit of full transparency here we are. A book on sex and relationships, an area that hasn’t, historically, been straightforward for me psychologically. Certainly not a must read but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
I’ll be updating the books I’ve read this year here. Any recommendations? Let me know!
A Final Thought 💡
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
- James M. Barrie