#132 - Bird by Bird
Advice, heavy, and moments
Life is a lot sometimes. Especially in a city like London.
I’ve reintegrated after my few weeks of Italian countryside.
And it’s been fun, sure. Energising. But overwhelming too.
I’ve found much solace in a favourite phrase:
Take it bird by bird.
Welcome! If you’re reading this but haven’t subscribed you can do here:
Advice
The phrase comes from Anne Lamott’s wonderful book of the same name.
She tells a story about her brother. He’d been tasked with documenting all the local birdlife for a school project.
But he procrastinated.
As the deadline loomed he began to worry. Soon, it was the night before. And he still hadn’t begun.
Then the panic really set in. He began to cry.
Seeing this their father came to the rescue. He knelt down next to the boy and consoled him.
His advice?
Just take it bird by bird buddy. Bird by bird.
Heavy
It’s a simple but profound idea. One I turn to again and again.
Because it’s not obvious, or easy. Life happens and sometimes it feels like we’re simply surviving- wading, each day, through an endless to-do list.
I’ll often mix, in my mind, the one or two truly important things, with the mass of meaningless tasks, and even the big existential questions. Especially running a startup.
Let me give you an example:
Say I’m fundraising (a frequent pastime) and my mind is occupied with a specific negotiation. I’d love to say that’s all that’s occupying me. Alas, there’s also:
Those operational decisions that need taking… The tasks that need sorting with our accountant… That mysterious drop in bookings last week… Some returning health issues... The nagging voice telling me I should be exercising more... The bills that need paying… That wash I need to put on... That bloody speeding ticket!
And, now that I think about it, I could probably do with some new socks- the current collection have rather a lot of holes in… And a few new t-shirts perhaps... Hmm probably a new wardrobe entirely now I think about it… And a haircut while I’m at it.
Plus there’s the big questions… Here I am pitching this vision for the company… But how on earth is that going to happen if the damn cassette players keep breaking? And where’s the rest of money going to come from anyway?
Soon, these ALL feel heavy.
How on earth will I get out of this one? I wonder.
Moments
But then I remember…
Take it bird by bird.
The first bird is to close that investor. Focus there.
I’ve managed with my hole-y socks and wild hair until now. I can do a little longer.
Something remarkable then happens.
The overwhelm evaporates.
It becomes obvious that all these little things only seem weighty because of the big one. Solve that and life becomes manageable. Worries and pending to-does evaporate.
Get that first bird done, and the second is easier. As is the third. Soon you’re flying through them. You complete all the birds; the full set. That wasn’t so difficult was it?
But we’re not done there. I realised this week, that this, too, misses the point.
It was driving through the English countryside; ruminating over what to write here, and wondering when I’d get through the emails stacking up. When it occurred to me to stop.
To stop constantly running over the challenges in my mind. Living in my to-do list.
Why not enjoy this moment? I thought. Start there.
And there was much to enjoy.
It was a beautiful day. I felt a deep calm being back in the countryside. And I had so much to be grateful for. Life is good right now. Yet there I was fretting.
I resolved, then and there, to spend more time in that frame of mind; not bird by bird but moment by moment.
Because when all is said and done what is our life but a string of moments? Thousands of today’s stacked together.
Each of these is experienced just once. You get one shot at each day, each moment. Why not enjoy it?
What, then of the to-do’s?
Well, I’ve found, in my short time on this earth, that when we truly surrender, and meet life where it is, everything has a funny way of sorting itself out.
The universe provides.
So perhaps we just need a little more trust in that.
What I’ve Been Reading 📚
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté
How trauma and suppressed emotions have driven the rise in chronic illness. Gabor Maté says 90%+ of the people he sees with such issues have the same personality traits: They’re highly agreeable empaths.
Very compelling- another area to investigate further…
Thank you Sam Pearce for the recommendation!
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee (in progress)
This book follows a Korean family over 100 years in the 20th century. Halfway through and loving it.
Thank you P for the recommendation!
A Final Thought 💡
“Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.”
- Mother Teresa