#114 - Vipassana
Tedious, peace, and destinations
In March I did my 2nd silent retreat.
This one was a Vipassana. 10 hours a day meditating for 10 days. Intense to say the least.
My big take away?
That one day I will die.
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Tedious
That much meditation is tedious.
You spend first three days focusing on your breath. That’s it. Just focus on your breath for 10 hours a day.
Then, on day 4 comes the Vipassana meditation.
Vipassana, loosely, means insight.
First you concentrate on a spot on the top of our head. You stay there until you feel a sensation, any sensation. Then move to the another point nearby.
The idea is to feel sensations in every part of the body.
Once this is achieved your attention starts to flow freely over the body in a wave of sensation.
The purpose is to tune into your bodily sensations. Everything we experience is a sensation. By tuning in you see your emotion or suffering for what it really is: A bodily sensation. And you see the changing nature of it.
This too shall pass.
Peace
Day 4 also introduced adhiṭṭhāna sitting, or strong determination.
It takes place during three one hour sessions a day and the idea is simple: Don’t move a muscle. It’s those sessions that concerns us here.
Sitting cross legged for that long is painful. Soon your body starts screaming to move. My right leg, in particular, caused agony.
What’s important is how you react. Or don’t in this case. By not reacting you see the pain for what it is: Simply a sensation. You beginning to see how it ebbs and flow. Comes and goes. Always changing. And, eventually, it too passes.
My most profound insight came during these sessions.
It was day 6, or 7 perhaps. Nearing the end of a session my mind wandered to the approaching completion. And it was clear to me, in that moment, that this too will end. But I didn’t stop there.
Not only would this session end but so would the next mediation.
And then lunch, the various meditations this afternoon, the evening discourse, and I’d be in bed.
This day too would end.
And then the next, and soon the retreat would end.
Then I’d be home, weeks would pass, a holiday to Greece with K, a few more trips, the summer would come to an end, and the year too.
And then the next year.
Unplugged would grow and develop.
I’d raise a family.
One day my time with Unplugged would end too.
And then, one day, I’d be an old man (all being well). I saw myself old and smiling.
And eventually, my time would come.
I would die.
It sounds an obvious conclusion, but arriving there on retreat was powerful. Never before had I been so clear of the fleeting nature of it all.
And the strangest thing about the experience? I felt completely at peace. Not a care in the world.
Destinations
It’s true, too. The human experience is finite. Everything is, in fact.
But that’s what makes it beautiful.
We’re here for a moment and then we’re gone. Suddenly the stress, struggles, and situations that cloud our minds don’t matter quite so much. They too will pass.
It’s easy to live with a destination mindset. Always focused on the next holiday, night out, or startup exit. One can wish their life away.
Destinations pass. Each time you get there you’ll see it’s not the place after all. But a new destination captures your attention.
And then, when all is said and done, you reach the one destination where we all finish. You see there too is nothing.
And realise it’s about the journey after all.
My Week in Books📚
Against the Gods by Peter Bernstein
The remarkable story of risk.
If a history of risk isn’t your thing then do skip this section. I, however, loved it. A big story beautiful told. Bernstein is clearly a smart guy. Quite a cast too: Pascal, Fermat, da Vinci, Bayes, Darwin, Keynes, Von Neumann, Kahneman & Tversky, and many more.
Book recommendations welcome & encouraged. Just hit reply! 🙏
Unplugged 🌳📵
Sat down with the wonderful Ali Abdaal for his podcast. Chatted about everything from phones and burnout, to trauma and acid. Let’s see what survives the edits. 😬
From the blog - “How phone use is changing our brains”
A Final Thought 💡
“In life, we weep at the thought of death. In death, perhaps we weep at the thought of life.”
- Marilyn Monroe
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Good reminder, everything is impermanent ☠️